Conflict is something we are all familiar with, but I'd venture to say that most of us are super uncomfortable with it, too. A lot of us have difficulty navigating conflict due to our own upbringing, learned coping strategies, and the influence of societal norms. Even if we were raised to approach conflict, we may still struggle to navigate it with those around us who don't, or we may go to the other extreme and approach conflict too aggressively. We have to do the work to become more comfortable with resolving conflict with the people we encounter in our everyday lives. Experts say that to improve skills for responding to conflict, we need to approach it with a certain demeanor by balancing each person's perspectives, approaches, and experience.
What is conflict?
It's an emotional process. Conflict happens most often because the people involved don’t share perspectives or agreements about a certain situation-either explicitly or perceived by one or more people. Conflict can also occur if there is an internal trigger that makes someone feel in conflict themselves. Better said, conflict usually arises from an unmet need or from a feeling that something needs to change. It increases over time, especially in experiencing the same situations that are triggering or the input of other people without resolve. Think about the last time you were in conflict with someone or felt an internal conflict. What was the context around that experience? Maybe it was on social media, in running errands, or even at family gatherings. The actions of others may have fueled your emotions and that probably triggered an internal feeling of conflict.
Why should I know about managing conflict in ministry?
Working in ministry calls us to a deeper and more vulnerable relationship with the people we serve. To help someone grow in their faith, we need to understand more about their experiences. Ministry is often a space of vulnerability when discussing aspects of the faith because the intention is to experience and grow deeper in our authentic connection with God-the one who sees and knows everything, and to live out that love better with our fellow humans. In ministry, people encounter things like the mercy of God or that God wants to truly know all the parts of us. Yet we have a very human representation of this truth because people are often the avenue through which we get to know God. And people are very flawed. We need to understand that for some people this brings feelings of great conflict emotionally or even physically. Perhaps it's not a conflict between persons or our own conscience, but the environment itself. People can also experience a rise in stress because of an external trigger, such as an overstimulating setting or an unexpected event.
When people are experiencing conflict, their feelings and emotions take over. They may use their behavior to communicate this overwhelming or out-of-control feeling. Our responses are vital because they can escalate or de-escalate the situation quite quickly. How we respond to a person's conflict or stress must be done in a way that allows the person space to de-escalate.
How do I get more comfortable handling conflict in ministry?
There are so many things that contribute to conflict, especially when we look through the lens of neurodiversity. One of the best responses to conflict situations is to first listen and allow the person to process. Then, provide a safe space for them to calm down. To get better at managing conflict and get more comfortable approaching it, it's important to try to understand it. We dive deep into understanding and managing conflict in our online training: Resolving Conflict in Ministry & Education. The very reason we created this course is because we know that in working or volunteering in a ministry, navigating conflict resolution is key. We wanted to equip ministers with expert strategies and make it easier for ministries to focus on strengthening relationships. Do you know what is awesome about this training? The impact of taking this training will be on more than just your ministry!
Want to learn how to better resolve conflict in your ministry?